Happiness... The reward of righteousness - Elder Cook

This is taken from the 2014 byu womens conference address by Elder Cook

"the reward of happiness. The question raised here is, how do I provide enough advantages for my children to be happy and successful in life? Lucifer has created a counterfeit or illusion of happiness that is inconsistent with righteousness and will mislead us if we are not vigilant. Many of the problems across the world are occurring because the secular world has been pursuing an incorrect definition of happiness. We know from the Book of Mormon that this problem has existed throughout all generations. We also know the blessings that come from living the commandments. In King Benjamin’s marvelous address, he states, “I would desire that ye would consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they might dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it.”28

Over many years I’ve followed a research project that commenced in the 1940s. Initially there were 268 men in a premier university who were periodically studied over their entire lives. Later, additional groups were included as women became part of the study. The study covered approximately 70 years. The doctors had continuous interviews with these men and women. The goal of the original study was to find out as much as possible about success and happiness. The study showed that college entrance scores and grade averages did not predict either success or happiness in later life. One area where there was a high correlation was childhood family happiness. The successful, happy adult usually reported that their mother in particular verbally expressed love and affection and did not use severe discipline. Both parents were demonstratively affectionate with each other and available and accessible to their children, with whom they had warm and emotionally expressive relationships. The parents created a stable family environment and were believed to have respected the autonomy of their children.

A concluding book on the study, published in 2012, reports: “Many measures of success throughout life are predicted less reliably by early financial and social advantage than by a loved and loving childhood.”29 A warm childhood correlates with achievement more than intelligence, social class, or athleticism. The study also found that what goes right in childhood predicts the future far better than what goes wrong. The study as a whole indicates that even when there are significant challenges and some things go very wrong, most children are very resilient, and the trust that is built by loving relationships with parents, especially the mother, can result in lasting lifetime happiness.

What was interesting to me, but not surprising, was that the study was completely in line with what the scriptures and the Church have taught about the family. The emphasis the Church has made on family home evening, family prayer, expressions of love, family togetherness, and family traditions are the very kind of activities that the study indicated would produce happy, successful adults. While Nephi begins the Book of Mormon expressing gratitude for goodly parents, the real lesson to be learned is that we each determine what we will be so that our posterity can happily report that they were born of goodly parents.

Dear sisters, the most important thing you can do is to make sure your children and those you nurture know that you love them. Love is the key ingredient to happiness."